Scuba Blake

Better than Scuba Steve.

Madi freaked out.

And it was hilarious.

Garden Grows=Kids Will Live

Numerous weeks ago I made a comment basing my kid raising abilities to if my garden grew or not. I have remembered to water the plants daily, or if I wasn't available I made sure it was being taken care of.




According to my earlier statement, I will be able to raise kids just fine...since the garden is growing and all.

From The Center of Disease Control

I usually hate email forwards, but this one was pretty funny....

--------------------------------
Very important information has just been made public that I think is something you should all be aware of:

Gonorrhea Lectim

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this old disease.
The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim. It's pronounced "Gonna re-elect 'im."

The disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior involving putting your cranium up your rectum.

Many victims contracted it in 2008 ..... but now most people after having been infected for the past 1-2 years are starting to realize how destructive this sickness is. It's sad because it is so easily cured with a new procedure just coming on the market called Vo-tem-out.

You take the first dose/step in 2010 and the second dosage in 2012 and simply don't engage in such behavior again. .

Eating (right) Too weak....I mean 2 weeks

From my dad.....

Hi. My name is……………. not too sure anymore. Hershey, Baby Ruth, Junior Mints, all are familiar but somehow don't seem quite right.

I am a carboholic.

It's been 1 and 2 days since my last carb (do 24 sweet potato fries and 30, maybe 92 potato chips really count). I have given up on getting that one year button and have set my sights on the 32 count box of Skinny Cow. My body now has sugar GPS. I can sniff out a Baskin Robbins or Coldstones blindfolded.

Tonight is weigh-in and it is weighing heavily on my mind and of course, still on the rest of my body. I fear that the desired outcome of two weaks (sic) of changed eating habits and barbaric exercise (walking ) will not be realized. The goal is to lose at least as many pounds as the week before so as not to have to endure a longer death march each night. If only Sue would not make me carry the sandbags when we walk, maybe I could walk farther than two blocks.

If I see my shadow tonight at weigh-in, it will be two more weeks of phase 1 of eating right. Hopefully 6 down, 10 (or as much as I can hold out for until I succumb to a low blood sugar coma) to go.

More soon, unless Sue keeps twisting my arm to walk and I am unable to type due to having another rotator cuff surgery.

Your's in carbs,
Brent (carb whisperer)

Pet Peeves

A coworker and I were talking about pet peeves today. He asked what mine were. I could only come up with three. Most of the time I forget that something bothers me until it happens.

Here is what I came up with today:
-I hate it when tape (packaging tape especially) sticks to my fingers and can't get it off. It kinds freaks me out.
-I can't stand it when people are driving slow in the fast lane, especially on the freeway.
-People clapping when a movie ends. There is no need for this. It is not a live performance. You have been watching a screen for a couple hours. The actors don't feel appreciated because they aren't there!

Something that isn't really a pet peeve, but I think is hilarious, is when I am driving, look over, and see an adult picking their nose. Do they think that when they get into their car an invisible shield goes up around them? It cracks me up every time.

What are some of your pet peeves?

Eating (right) 1 weak

This is from my father:

Hi. My name is Gary (name changed to avoid repercussions at home) and I am a Carboholic.

One weak and one day has passed since I was mislead about diet and exercise. It has been 4 days since my last carb. Will I ever get that darn one year ice cream…..errrr, I mean button.

Another forced march last night. This time we went to the north and west so that we would be in the shade. Who knew that neighborhood had a ban on trees? How do I explain my sunburn to the dermatologist tomorrow? Sue is a ruthless tyrant.

I fear that lack of carbs is keeping me from lasting through the day.

Again weakness is playing a big part in my ability to function. I was unable to get out of my chair at work. After repeated attempts, I realized that I was sitting to close to my desk and the reason I needed to loose weight was preventing me from getting up. With great effort, I amassed all the strength left in my weakened state and pushed my chair back, thus allowing me to call for help to assist me out of my chair. Decided not to get up after all. Need to save my strength to be able to go home after work.

One weak weigh-in last night. Only lost 3 pounds. I could have done better with an exacta knife and my shop vac while eating Cold Stone's.

Sue assures me that things will improve. I will lose more weight, feel better, and my internal organs will not hurt from wearing clothes that are too tight.

More soon, if I can just remember what's going on in my weakened state.

Your's in carbs,
Brent

Yarcel...take 2

This post, with the picture, is authentic. As in, I was driving in a smaller valley community, and couldn't help but take a picture.

Now, this is extremely funny. But I couldn't help but start thinking about the fact that this kid thought that this was how you spelled "yardsale". And nobody corrected him. Which leads me to believe that his mom doesn't know how to spell "yardsale" either.

I wish I could just look at it and laugh, and look at it again and laugh some more (because I have done that numerous times) without feeling sorry for this kid and wondering what his future holds.

Yarcel

Yarcel. You know, the thing you have when you try to sell your belongings outside your home.