Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Love and Marriage and Jesus

Blake and I have an interesting history. When we met 4 years ago, we didn't exactly like each other. He thought I was too loud and opinionated and I thought he was socially awkward. Over the years, God has softened our edges and grown us into the people we are today. We both have issues from our past, and I can only speak for myself when I say that I needed to work it all out with the Lord, and even then, Blake inherited dealing with my issues when he chose to be with me, and vice-versa.

Before Blake and I even started dating, Blake had become my best friend. We hung out all the time. He even told me about a year before we started dating that he wanted to be with me, but I told him that I wasn't sure and I wasn't going to mess with his emotions. That if we dated, I wanted to know that I was dating him for the right reasons.

When Blake and I started dating, he told me constantly how beautiful I was. He told me how all he wanted to do was spend time with me. He told me he adored me. That all he wanted to do was take care of me.

He was pursuing me. And my heart melted.

It was during this time, when Blake was telling me all these, that I began to hear God in a different way than ever before.

God was telling me "You think Blake thinks your beautiful, I created you, you are worth dying for. You are so precious in my sight. Stephanie, I adore you. All I want is to spend time with you. I want to take care of you."

And this is when I began to really understand Ephesians 5:25:

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."

It was through Blake's love that I was given a glimpse into just how much Christ loves the church, how much he loves me. How he gave up everything for the church, how he gave up everything for me.

I love that I am marrying my best friend. I love that he knows me better than I think he does. I love that I can be myself and that is more than good enough for him. I love that through his love, I am able to experience the love of Jesus in a whole new way.

Life is not always going to be easy, but I am looking forward to a lifetime of fun and arguing with Blake by my side and Jesus as the cornerstone of our relationship.

Wedding Planning and Still Trying to have a life

I love my life. I love the challenges and changes that God has placed in my life. I love that I love my job. I love my fiance.

But I will say this, I have almost decided that planning a wedding is overrated. Don't get me wrong, I love Blake and can not wait to be married to him forever, but there is so much stress and pressure that seems unnecessary.

Like every couple, Blake and I have our spats, but it is never anything big and most of the time we are just trying to push each others buttons. Planning a wedding, is a different story.

Here are some items that have caused some intense discussions:

1) The Guest List: Three words...ridiculously large family. Both of us. Which means not much room for the people we actually want there, the people who have an impact in our lives on a regular basis. We had an argument about cutting the guest list before we even knew for sure that we would have to cut it! Looking back it is funny, but at the time....

2) ....

Ok, so the guest list is the only thing I can think of right now. And maybe that is really the only thing that we had some very intense discussions about.

However, there are so many decisions and so much pressure and stress on a day that is suppose to be one of the happiest of our entire lives. Planning a wedding is time consuming. Not only do we have to make big decisions, we have to make numerous smaller decisions within that larger decision. It really is never ending.

On top of that, we are looking at buying a house.

Blake and I keep joking about eloping. As much as we would both like that, we know that we want to share this precious day with those that we love and those that love us. We (maybe I) want the big party.

There have been pockets of time when nothing wedding related is going on, we are able to just be with each other, and it is wonderful. Where we can go hang out with friends and talk about politics, church, God, and how we have become the people we are today. I love just sitting and being with Blake.

So even though life is crazy right now, and there are some days where I only get to see Blake for an hour, I wouldn't change my life and what God has in store for me (us) for the world.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

It is nice having family in Oahu...

Blake and I had a wonderful time in Oahu. We had a blast hanging out with his sister-in-law. (Blake's brother is stationed in Oahu with the coast gaurd. Unfortunately, he had to go do some schooling in Florida since his wife is due in December!)

Ten days in paradise went by very fast, but we were both definitely ready to come home, get back into life and a routine, and start planning a wedding (that is a different post).

Since I can't blog about all the fun we had, I decided I was going to post some of my favorite pictures from the trip....enjoy!