As a human being, and more importantly as a follower of Christ, I am on this journey where I am continually growing. Growing in all areas of life, but most importantly in my relationship with Christ and desiring to become more like him every day.
I am fully aware that there is a spiritual battle that goes on daily in my life. There are "lies" that I have bought into that the enemy has told me, and at some point or another in my life I have accepted it as truth. The Bible tells us that the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but Christ came so that we would have life to the fullest (John 10:10) and Christ came to destroy the devils work (1 John 3:8)
Every person has issues to deal with. Now, some people choose not to work through these issues. I believe that as you work through your issues, you come into a deeper relationship with God. Don't get me wrong, it isn't easy. I very much dislike doing this. But when I do, the blessings that come from it are amazing. In these issues, I am held in bondage, and am not experiencing freedom in Christ to the fullest. I know that as I begin dealing with my junk, I will become more free in this particular area in my life.
I am in a place right now where the Lord is revealing some stuff to me. I am in this battle right now. A part of me wants to deal with this, and the other part doesn't want to. There is a fear of digging deep into myself, reflecting, and asking God to show me the deepest parts of my being...but not only to show me, but to help me heal and work through it.
I know that I need to do this. I know that to continue in my relationship with Christ, this is one of the next big steps. But to be completeley honest, I am scared of being honest with myself.