This life is not suppose to be about me. I confess that it is hard to really believe that in this world, in this American culture. We live in a consumeristic culture. Even at church we think that we should be able to have it the way we want it. Different music, shorter message, more programs, different series...
I think that the church has given into this mentality. Some churches have video venues to tailor to certain audiences. Jesus was counterculture. He did not try to fit in, he did not make life easy or comfortable for those he encountered. He challenged them...He challenged their way of thinking.
Church is not Burger King. You don't get to have it your way.
My heart has been in turmoil since I have been home from Haiti. My way of thinking has been challenged. What I had thought was important to me has been challenged. It would be easy for me to go back to Haiti and live, and not deal with all that I am feeling. I have tried to seek the Lord during this time, to give it all to him to help me deal with, but if I am honest with myself, I haven't laid it at the foot of the cross. I am not sure how to process it all, not sure if I want to know what the Lord really wants to teach me.
God is in the midst of doing something with me. During the process, it is always hard. But once I am on the other side of the growing pains, I understand the heart of my creator that much better. And that makes it worth it.