Love and Marriage and Jesus

Blake and I have an interesting history. When we met 4 years ago, we didn't exactly like each other. He thought I was too loud and opinionated and I thought he was socially awkward. Over the years, God has softened our edges and grown us into the people we are today. We both have issues from our past, and I can only speak for myself when I say that I needed to work it all out with the Lord, and even then, Blake inherited dealing with my issues when he chose to be with me, and vice-versa.

Before Blake and I even started dating, Blake had become my best friend. We hung out all the time. He even told me about a year before we started dating that he wanted to be with me, but I told him that I wasn't sure and I wasn't going to mess with his emotions. That if we dated, I wanted to know that I was dating him for the right reasons.

When Blake and I started dating, he told me constantly how beautiful I was. He told me how all he wanted to do was spend time with me. He told me he adored me. That all he wanted to do was take care of me.

He was pursuing me. And my heart melted.

It was during this time, when Blake was telling me all these, that I began to hear God in a different way than ever before.

God was telling me "You think Blake thinks your beautiful, I created you, you are worth dying for. You are so precious in my sight. Stephanie, I adore you. All I want is to spend time with you. I want to take care of you."

And this is when I began to really understand Ephesians 5:25:

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."

It was through Blake's love that I was given a glimpse into just how much Christ loves the church, how much he loves me. How he gave up everything for the church, how he gave up everything for me.

I love that I am marrying my best friend. I love that he knows me better than I think he does. I love that I can be myself and that is more than good enough for him. I love that through his love, I am able to experience the love of Jesus in a whole new way.

Life is not always going to be easy, but I am looking forward to a lifetime of fun and arguing with Blake by my side and Jesus as the cornerstone of our relationship.

Wedding Planning and Still Trying to have a life

I love my life. I love the challenges and changes that God has placed in my life. I love that I love my job. I love my fiance.

But I will say this, I have almost decided that planning a wedding is overrated. Don't get me wrong, I love Blake and can not wait to be married to him forever, but there is so much stress and pressure that seems unnecessary.

Like every couple, Blake and I have our spats, but it is never anything big and most of the time we are just trying to push each others buttons. Planning a wedding, is a different story.

Here are some items that have caused some intense discussions:

1) The Guest List: Three words...ridiculously large family. Both of us. Which means not much room for the people we actually want there, the people who have an impact in our lives on a regular basis. We had an argument about cutting the guest list before we even knew for sure that we would have to cut it! Looking back it is funny, but at the time....

2) ....

Ok, so the guest list is the only thing I can think of right now. And maybe that is really the only thing that we had some very intense discussions about.

However, there are so many decisions and so much pressure and stress on a day that is suppose to be one of the happiest of our entire lives. Planning a wedding is time consuming. Not only do we have to make big decisions, we have to make numerous smaller decisions within that larger decision. It really is never ending.

On top of that, we are looking at buying a house.

Blake and I keep joking about eloping. As much as we would both like that, we know that we want to share this precious day with those that we love and those that love us. We (maybe I) want the big party.

There have been pockets of time when nothing wedding related is going on, we are able to just be with each other, and it is wonderful. Where we can go hang out with friends and talk about politics, church, God, and how we have become the people we are today. I love just sitting and being with Blake.

So even though life is crazy right now, and there are some days where I only get to see Blake for an hour, I wouldn't change my life and what God has in store for me (us) for the world.

It is nice having family in Oahu...

Blake and I had a wonderful time in Oahu. We had a blast hanging out with his sister-in-law. (Blake's brother is stationed in Oahu with the coast gaurd. Unfortunately, he had to go do some schooling in Florida since his wife is due in December!)

Ten days in paradise went by very fast, but we were both definitely ready to come home, get back into life and a routine, and start planning a wedding (that is a different post).

Since I can't blog about all the fun we had, I decided I was going to post some of my favorite pictures from the trip....enjoy!

Sunset Dinner Cruise

On Sunday, the day after Blake proposed, we had a relaxing day at the beach and then got ready to go on a sunset dinner cruise. This was a five star cruise, which entailed a 7 course meal.

The lobster was great...and Blake had fun playing with the claw.

The Proposal

Blake had been acting more weird than normal when we were leaving for the trip, on our way to Oahu, and even on Saturday. My dad took us to the airport on Friday, and my dad was acting weird, which I had pointed out to Blake...my dad even hugged Blake when he dropped us off at the airport...which I noted to my sister (who I was on the phone with dad just hugged Blake and it was weird)...

On Saturday night, we were suppose to go on a dinner cruise. While we were at North Shore, swimming with the turtles during the day Saturday, Blake got a text from his sister-in-law Vanessa saying the dinner cruise was overbooked, so we would have to go on Sunday night, and they would give us a discount. I, of course, pressed Blake on this. How could they overbook a dinner cruise? When I asked him what we were going to do instead, he said instead of going to the beach on Sunday night to watch the sunset and drink a bottle of wine, we would do it tonight (Saturday). I then asked him what we were going to do for dinner, and he said we would figure it out.

Side Story....For months we have talked about getting chinese food (take out) to Woodward Park for a picnic, then we were going to do it one time in Santa Cruz (weather was bad)...

so after Blake said we would figure it out, I said "I don't know if you were planning on this or had thought about it, but why don't we get chinese food and eat it on the beach tonight" Blake played it off saying that we would figure it out.

Side note: Blake cannot play anything off. He is so easy for me to read. Props to him for holding out...

We continued on with our day, swimming with the turtles, playing in the water, walking around at North Shore, and having Shave Ice (not to be confused with shaved ice). As we were driving back to the house, it started raining again. Since we had a couple hours before we were going to take off again, we both figured it would stop raining, which it did, for awhile.

We got ready, I blogged about our day, and around 5:45 we left to go to the beach....and it was raining. I asked what we were going to do if it was raining when we got to the beach, he said we would open up the back of the suv, watch the sunset, and drink the wine. We took a wrong turn, I got frustrated with him, we called Vanessa, and we were once again headed in the right direction.

When we got to the beach, it wasn't raining! We got the wine, the chairs, and the blanket, and started walking on the sand. He started to set us up right behind a bush (because he was too preocupied with the actual proposal, but I didn't know that...obviously), and when I pointed out that we wouldn't be able to see the sun set, we moved the chairs back 50 feet. He set the chairs up and the blanket down, and he opened up the wine.

We sat there for about 10 minutes, drinking wine and looking out at the ocean and the sun setting, and from around the corner came a man, in a top hat, carrying a box lid with little boxes in it. Right away, I knew it was chinese food. I immediately had this huge grin on my face, Blake looked at me, got up, met the guy, and brought the food to us. We sat down on the blanket, and started eating.

We were talking about the vastness of the ocean, how it reminds of us how big God really is, we talked about the food, talked about our favorite part of the day...then Blake started talking about how God has really blessed us both, how it was awesome how it was raining on our way over, and not 10 minutes down the road it wasn't, how God has given us each other...then he told me that he didn't want me worrying the entire trip...which I replied with "worrying about what?"...as I said this he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wish token. On one side it said "wish token" and on the other side it said "good for one wish"

Side story: Memorial Day weekend of this past year I was in Catalina (like I am every memorial day weekend). In one of the stores, they had tokens that had different things on them (massage token, kiss token, drink token, wish token, etc) and I bought Blake and I each a set.

I looked at him, and my eyes teared up...he then reached into his other pocket, pulled out the ring, got on one knee, he teared up, couldn't get out the words he wanted to say, and was finally able to ask me to marry him. I said yes, he put the ring on my finger (it got stuck on my knuckle, but I pushed the sucker on). We kissed. I told him a thousand times yes. Then I pulled out a token...one he didn't know I had.

It was a love token. On one side it said "love token" and on the other side it said "good for all my love". I told him that I didn't know if he was going to propose tonight or even in Hawaii, then I pulled it out of my pocket and handed it to him (I had it in my pocket all day) He read it and started laughing, and then he said (sarcastically) he thinks he got the raw end of the deal. He asked how long I had been carrying it with me, and I let him know only for a couple of weeks. :) We sat awhile longer, talking, then as we were praying, a cop came by and so graciously informed us over his loud speaker that the beach was closing. We pretended like we were getting up, cop left, and we finished praying.

Then the phone calls began, at least to our parents and our closest friends.

It was pretty much one of the best days of my life (up until this point). Blake wanted the day to entail some of the things I have always wanted to do to make it special (like swimming with the sea turtles).

It is two days later, and we can't believe we are engaged. It still seems surreal. I have caught myself lookg at the ring a lot. Blake randomly grabs my hand to look at the ring. We are excited about what God has for us in the future and are looking forward to beginning planning our lives together.

We did go on the dinner cruise on Sunday night...it was wonderful...pics of that amazing night to come soon!

Teaser...

Here are a couple pics...story to come soon :)

Oahu or Bust!

Blake and I are visiting his sister in law in Oahu...not a bad place to visit somebody. We got here last night (Friday the 12) and are here until late Sunday night the 21st (taking a red-eye back to the mainland, we get back to Fresno at 9 am on the 22nd).

Today, we got up way to early for a vacation....7 am! Our bodies felt like it was 10...the sun was shining through the window and there was no way I was going back to sleep. We made a quick trip to the store to buy food, so we wouldn't eat all of his brothers food. We had pineapple, which was delicious!

After breakfast, we put on our suits, and headed to North Shore. There is a place there called Turtle Beach. I love turtles. I was told that I would get to swim with sea turtles. And this provided us a way to both get our way...I got to swim with the turtles and Blake didn't have to spend any money. :)

On the way over, it was raining, but I had resolved that even if it were raining, I was still getting in the water...I have done it before (huh, Dad, remember, in Mexico?). Just as we were arriving, we saw blue skies!

We swam around for awhile, snorkling, for about 45 minutes...no turtles. I was bummed. They were around when we got there, but no dice during that time. Then, we saw them...and they were huge! I screamed when I saw them because I was so excited. At one point there was one on each side of me. I touched them, on their shell and their legs. It was awesome!

Off to drink wine on the beach and watch the sunset!